NBA Roundup – November 11, 2015: The Conspiracy Against Kristaps Begins


Hello and welcome to the NBA Roundup, where we get you set up for another day of basketball madness by recapping last nights games. No, stop feeding your kid and get ready for a mouthful of NBA action. BOOM.

Charlotte Hornets- 95 New York Knicks- 93

Oh c'mon! It's close enough, just count it NBA! Stop being a bunch of hard-asses. Because of this atrocity, there shalt be no fun vines of GIF's in this edition of Roundup. Disgusting.
Oh c’mon! It’s close enough, just count it NBA! Stop being a bunch of hard-asses. Because of this grave injustice, there shalt be no fun vines of GIF’s in this edition of Roundup. Disgusting.


I’m appalled.

Today, I had my innocence broken. Today, I discovered the NBA’s conspiracy against Kristaps Porzingis.

After a Cody Zeller layup to go up 95-93 for the Hornets, the Knicks drew up the best out of bounds play ever- give the ball to Kristaps and let the kid pull the trigger. And it worked! KP buried the three! And that’s where the NBA said enough is enough, we have to shut this kid down.

In one of the most sickening moves I’ve personally ever seen, Adam Silver called in a hit on our hero Kristaps, forcing the referees to reverse the decision and say the ball had still been in KP’s bear claw of a hand as the clock hit 0.0 seconds left. As you can see in the picture above, the ball is clearly out of his hand. You just have to squint really, really, really hard. Like, maybe just close your eyes. Pretty clear to me.

Outside of that disappointing and sickening display of the NBA’s fear of 7-foot tall Latvian’s, Kristaps and the Knicks put together another nice performance. Despite the loss, which puts New York down to 4-5 for the season, Porzingis had one of his best shooting nights yet, sinking his first five field goal attempts and finishing with 10 points and 15 rebounds, the fourth double-double of his career. Carmelo Anthony led the Knicks scoring efforts with 29 points, seemingly finding the shooting stroke that has evaded him this season, going 12-of-25 from the field.

For the Hornets, being the beneficiary of the NBA’s disgusting bias must be sweet. Former Knick great (if you can call one really good seven game run great) Jeremy Lin finished with 17 points, including a huge basket late in the game through contact that would give Charlotte a two-point lead.

Every day, I wake up and miss Linsanity. Simpler times indeed.

Orlando Magic- 101 Los Angeles Lakers- 99

The Lakers continue to find new lows. This time, it came in the form of allowing Nikola Vucevic to absolutely bury a fadeaway jumper at the buzzer to launch the Magic over LA. That, of course, was only after the Lakers had allowed Shabazz Napier, of all people, to scorch them for 22 points on 8-of-16 shooting. Sadly, we cannot present to you Kobe Bryant’s shooting night because he didn’t play due to rest.

With no Kobe for a second game, D’Angelo Russell would be forced to lead the way for Los Angeles. D-Russ  scored just 14 points, but played 31 minutes and was able to get up 15 shots, hopefully showing that Byron Scott will give his rookie guard more of a leash after facing plenty of criticism for his handling of the second overall pick in the 2015 draft. Larry Nance Jr would shoot a perfect 6-6, which is impressive and all, but not nearly as impressive as ancient relic and known crazy person Metta World Peace somehow not only started for the Lakers, but player 27 minutes and shot 4-7 on FGA!

Never quit on your dreams, even if you’re a grandpa.

Brooklyn Nets- 106 Houston Rockets- 98

They got ’em!

The Brooklyn Nets have won a game! The Nets remove themselves from the bile of awful that is 76er-land to win their first game of the season! What a time to be alive.

Brooklyn really wasn’t that great, shooting just 42% from the field, but a 14 and 12 effort from Brook Lopez as well as a 22-point outburst from Bojan Bogdanovic off the bench propelled the Nets to their first victory this season.

The Brooklyn defense in particular came up big for the Nets, holding the high poweredRockets backcourt of James Harden and Ty Lawson to just 11-33 shooting for a combined 31 points. Dwight Howard and Marcus Thornton were the only two other real offense threats for the still-struggling Rockets, both of which went for 20 points, Howard for 20 and Thornton for 21 as Houston slipped to 4-4 on the season.

Toronto Raptors- 119 Philadelphia 76ers- 103

You know what that means.

The 76ers are your final team in the NBA to not have a win! Quick shout out to Philly for being the most constant bad thing in my life over the past few years. Always giving me perspective.

Keeping in tradition, the only 76er we will update you on is Jahlil Okafor. Tonight, Okafor had an excellent offensive performance, dropping 26 points and snagging 7 boards on 13-of-22 shooting. The defense for Okafor continues to be a problem. With no Nerlens Noel to cover him due to a wrist injury, Okafor had a +/- of -21.

The lack of interior defense was constantly fed upon by the Raptors tonight, With Louis Scola in particular shooting 10-for-15 from the floor for 21 points. Toronto bounced back after a tough Knicks loss on Tuesday night, moving to 6-3 on the year and continuing to look more and more like a contender in the East.

The 76ers will go for 0-9 Friday night against the Thunder, which is important because reasons.

Indiana Pacers- 102 Boston Celtics- 91

The Paul George reclamation tour continues, this time rolling through the Boston Celtics. George went for 26 points and 10 rebounds this time around, moving his average PPG over the last three games to 31. The Pacers benefited from a horrid Celtics shooting night, with Boston making just four of their 25 attempts from three.

Despite their struggles from behind the line, Boston did see a nice performance from Evan Turner, who was a small bright spot for the Celtics with a 9-for-13 shooting tab and 20 points. Outside of that though, things were bleak for Brad Steven’s squad, with Marcus Smart, Kelly Olynk, Terry Rozier, RJ Hunter, and Jonas Jerekbo combining for just 6-of-26 shooting off the bench as the Celtics fell to 3-4.

Atlanta Hawks-106 New Orleans Pelicans- 98

The Pelicans have struggled with superstar Anthony Davis this season. Not having the MVP-candidate going up against two of the NBA’s best big men in Paul Millsap and Al Horford is almost a death sentence. Millsap lead the team in rebounding, snagging 16 boards and pouring in 19 points, while Horford handled the scoring, dropping 26 and showing his range with four three point balls. Atlanta continues to prove their critics wrong, moving to 8-2 this season.

New Orleans, to their credit, did see a nice 20-point outburst from guard Eric Gordon, who’s gotten off to a rough start, shooting just 39% this season heading into the ball game. Still though, the Pelicans continue to struggle and fell to 1-7. It’s still early and New Orleans has plenty of talented players to come back from injury, but there is a point where you have to be concerned about NOLA not being able to dig itself out of this hole.

Kent Bazemore/Less Update: Tonight, Kent gave Bazeless, shooting 0-for-4 from three and turning it over three times.

Dallas Mavericks- 118 Los Angeles Clippers-108

If we learned one thing tonight, it’s that you shouldn’t cross the German-wonder that is Dirk Nowitzki.

In DeAndre Jordan’s first game in the city he spurned when he first agreed to sign with the Mavs, then backed out last second to re-sign with the Clippers, Dirk went off for a season-high 31 points on just 7-for-11 shooting, going 5-of-6 from behind the arc. The man Dallas was able to sign because of Jordan’s decision, Wes Mathews, added 25 points on 9for-13 shooting. Dallas definitely is not a great team, but seeing them pick up this win in what was a brutally physical game was fun to see, as the Mavs move back to .500 at 4-4.

The Clippers, meanwhile, saw another nice performance from Blake Griffin, who this time around went for a 21-9-3 stat line. Chris Paul would struggle however, making just two of his 11 attempts, yet still managing to dish out 11 assists. Anytime Austin Rivers is able to sneak up 14 shots, it’s likely not going to end well, so this outcome was to be expected, all things considered.

Golden State Warriors- 100 Memphis Grizzlies- 84

Hey! The Grizzlies are figuring this thing out! Despite a 3-6 start, the Grizz have had back to back strong performances, first fighting the Clippers until the bitter end on Tuesday night and now managing to not lose by 50 to Golden State! The veteran frontcourt of Zach Randolph and Marc Gasol continues to lead the way for Memphis despite their early season struggles, combining for 45 points and 14 boards this time around. Despite a solid performance from the two, it wasn’t enough to overcome Steph Curry’s complete and utter lockdown of Mike Conley, who went a nightmarish 1-for-12 from the field for just four points.

Speaking of Curry, he had a typically magnificent night. While he didn’t shoot the ball as great as we’ve grown to expect (9-for-21 FGA, 3-for-10 3PA), Steph still finished with a glittering stat-line of 28 points, 5 rebounds, 5 assists, and 5 steals. The Black Falcon, whose nickname is slowly climbing into the top tier of NBA nicknames, continues to be magnificent in this early part of the season, going 7-for-11 on FGA and adding 19 points.

The Warriors are never losing again, please remember this take.

Denver Nuggets- 103 Milwuakee Bucks-102

The Nuggets maintain their status as one of the NBA’s most surprising teams thus far, pulling to 4-4 on the season thanks to a Kenneth Faried putback lay-in with 5.0 seconds remaining in the fourth quarter. The bucket came just seconds after a magnificent Giannis Antetokounmpo bucket that gave the Bucks a one point lead. A missed Khris Middleton buzzer-beater later and the Nuggets win the game to get back to .500.

Emmanual Mudiay has mirrored the Nuggets surprising start, putting together a 16-point, 11-assist outing last night. Most importantly was that Mudiay played clean, turning the ball over just once and committing just one foul in 35 minutes of play. Faired’s game-winner only topped off what was an excellent night for the big man, as he finished with 19 points and 9 rebounds on 8-for-9 shooting.

This will be a tough loss for Milwaukee to swallow, but seeing the Greek Freak take over late as well as continue his strong shooting start has to feel good for the Bucks, who seem to have a future superstar on their hands in Giannis. He was helped by Greg Monroe, who earned his paycheck on 9-for-13 shooting. Still though, the Bucks fell down to 4-5 this season and seem like one of the NBA’s more disappointing teams, although it’s important to remember how early it still is in the season.

Sacremento Kings- 101 Detroit Pistons- 92

The Kings lasted a grand total of 9 games before coach George Karl and star Center DeMarcus Cousins were at each others throats, with Cousins already reportedly declaring that the Kings can either fire Karl or trade him this week.

Regardless of whatever off-court issues Sacremento is having between it’s superstar and head coach, Cousins managed to lead his team to victory with a 33-point, 9-rebound performance that gave the Kings their second win of the season. Rajon Rondo would chip in his second triple-double of the year, ending with 14-11-15.

Despite the loss and Cousins’ big night, Detroit’s star big man Andre Drummond put together yet another solid night. While not quite on par to his 20-20 nights, Drummond still walked away with 14 points and 17 rebounds, a more than respectable total. Still though, he didn’t look quite the part of star center on defense, where he let Cousins sneak out to the 3-point arc five times, with Cousins hitting four of them.

Drummond and the Pistons look like the real deal, but last night showcased that this young Detroit team and their center still have a long way to go before they’re legitimate title contenders out East.

San Antonio Spurs- 113 Portland Trail Blazers- 101

DeAndre Jordan wasn’t the only star big man to return to what could of been his team this season, as LaMarcus Aldridge made his first trip back to Portland after bolting the city this past off season in favor of the championship pedigree in San Antonio.

Not surprisingly, King of Spite and All Things Evil, Gregg Popovich allowed his newest star to lead the Spurs in shots, and LMA responded, hitting 9 of his 18 attempts and finishing with 23 points. Kawhi Leonard quietly continued his ascent as well, dropping 20. Ageless wonder Tim Duncan just keeps on chugging along, this time around going for a 5-for-7 shooting evening, still good for 12 points.

The Trail Blazers have major questions on defense, as well as on their bench and frontcourt, but man, this backcourt is a whole lot of fun. Last night, the duo of Damian Lilliard and CJ McCollum combined for 43 points, with Lillard going for 22 and CJ leading with 21. Things likely aren’t going to get much better in Portland this season after falling to 4-5 last night, but hey, at least they’ll still be fun to watch.

Have a good day. Kristaps does not play tonight, so basketball doesn’t really matter, but still check back in tomorrow morning for all the hoops action you may have missed!

Life is a lie



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