I Have Questions About Jahlil Okafor’s Fake ID

0
545

070815_jahlil-okafor_600

It’s been a rough few weeks for the former third overall pick in the 2015 NBA Draft, Jahlil Okafor.

Obviously, being on the 0-18 76ers is at the top of the list, but Okafor’s personal life has also spilled over into the headlines and boy, what a personal life it is.

From fighting hecklers outside of nightclubs to having a gun pointed in his face during a fight, Okafor has really been killing the Public Relations game since entering the league. Oh, and he also likes to drive fast. Like I said, killing it.

Now, Okafor has committed the greatest sin of all- Using a fake ID and getting caught. Oh, the horror.

The incident reportedly occurred in late October, when the 19-year-old Okafor presented a fake ID at a bar in Philly and was refused service because, shocker, people in Philly follow Philly sports and knew he was underage. Police weren’t notified and Okafor was allowed to leave with no issue.

But now that this incident is coming out, I have some serious, hard-hitting questions in regards to the Okafor and how this will impact the 76ers budding star.

WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?

What type of a message does this send to our children? That it’s okay to fake your identification and get “turnt” or “lit”? 

How else will pre-teen kids be able to know that alcohol is not for them, other than the common knowledge that it isn’t?

And God almighty, what about the 16-20 year olds? I am absolutely positive that none of them would have ever considered doing something like this. Now with a famous basketball player not only attempting such an act, but not being in-prisoned for the crime, what’s to stop little Sally from buying a six-pack of Bud Light and worshipping Satan? You tell me.

Why The Hell Didn’t They Sell To Him?

Okay, I’m no small-business owner and know literally nothing about selling to minors, but all I’m saying is that if Jahlil Okafor walked into my bar, he’d not only be drinking, but by God everything would be on the house for the big fella.

Sure, the act might get your bar get shut down eventually, but that one night would sure be fun. Plus, you could snap some photos of Jahlil dancing on a table and sell them to Bleacher Report or TMZ and make a cool $50.

I’m all about the good times, and having Jahlil Okafor hanging out in my bar sounds like some serious GT’s to me.

Why Does Jahlil Okafor, Star NBA Player, Still have A Fake ID?

All jokes aside, I would guess that a very strong portion of American children 16-20 have some form of fake identification or have a buddy that does. Nothing is more American than faking your state of residency and age all in the name of a good time.

Now, if you took that percentage and then took the amount of kids in it who were professional basketball players, I think you’d have a pretty small number. So why didn’t Jahlil adjust to his situation?

I mean C’mon man, you aren’t at Duke sneaking Vlad in a water bottle into Comm 101 on a Friday afternoon. You’re Jahlil-freakin-Okafor, the supposed future of the Philadelphia 76ers! What he shoulda done is gone in there and slapped his real ID on the table and said, “Serve me or I fake a hammy injury”.

Why? because damn it, that’s the American way. Celebrities and athletes don’t have laws. They have guidelines that they themselves create. If a power forward on the Sixers wants a beer, get him a beer because he’s a power forward on the Sixers. Enough said.

Authors note- These takes have been satire, so please don’t tell me I’m ruining the next generation. but if you want to, my Twitter account is here- @LINhares_Sanity

*Chants* LET HIM DRINK. LET HIM DRINK. LET HIM DRINK
*Chants* LET HIM DRINK. LET HIM DRINK. LET HIM DRINK

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.