Basketball Plus Stuff: The Head Coach of the Lakers Hates The Lakers

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Credit: Joshua S. Kelly-USA TODAY Sports

I don’t think there has ever been a coach that hates his team the way Byron Scott hates the Los Angeles Lakers.

This is a deep rooted, systematic, borderline insane hatred. The type of hatred that makes you wonder exactly what the hell is going on in LA.

I don’t doubt it’s frustrating being Scott. His team currently sits at 11-45, dead last in the Western Conference and has been led by the decrepit, decaying corpse of Kobe Bryant. To some extent though, shouldn’t Scott be thankful for Bryant?

The reality of Scott’s time at the helm of the Lakers has been the following– It has been very bad. Now in his second season in LA, Scott has led the Lakers to a truly horrifying mark of 32-106, but somehow that hasn’t been the story for Los Angeles.

No, Scott has gotten borderline incredibly lucky with his timing. For one, the Lakers are in the midst of a complete rebuild and after having one of the weakest rosters in the league last year, still don’t have a whole lot going on this season. Remember, this teams biggest move of the offseason was trading for…wait for it…Roy Hibbert. Remember him? The guy that went to an all-star game not too long ago? Yeah, well he’s just really bad now. Seeing Hibbert in the 2016 version of the NBA is a lot like trying to shove a cassette tape into a spaceship aux-cord (If the DJ-astronaut plays three bad songs in a row, he has to leave the spaceship. It’s a high risk, low reward gig).

For as bad as the Lakers roster has been, the key component for Scott not being completely eviscerated has been Kobe Bryant.

At this point in his life, Kobe is almost like your little brother. Sure, he might draw on all the walls and “accidentally” hit your dad in the nuts a whole lot, but he’s the special boy and he gets what he wants! Now at the twilight of his career, Kobe’s final season has become the narrative for LA, essentially throwing wins and losses out the window. Somehow, people have forgotten that Byron Scott is burning the Lakers down behind the overwhelmingly long shadow of Kobe’s retirement tour.

What Scott has done in LA this season borders on being impressive. He’s managed to not only lose, but also ruthlessly and publicly call his team out on a near-nightly basis. One night, he’ll call D’Angelo Russell arrogant. The next he’s questioning Julius Randle’s work ethic. A few days later, Scott’s out there questioning millennials music tastes. The guy is essentially Kobe Bryant without any of the credentials.

And listen, I love grumpy old guys that embarrass themselves by acting like grumpy old guys. There’s nothing better than listening to an older-gentlemen explain why segregation wasn’t that bad (“Separate but equal! Everyone always forgets the second part! You’re the racist if you think it was racist!”). But there has to be some cut off point here. We can’t just let an NBA coach waltz out their and call everyone of his players soft and forget about it because you don’t want Kobe to be mad.

I get it. Byron was Kobe’s hire pretty much (that’s a great business model, letting the player on his way out choose the future of the franchise) and nobody wants to step on Bryant’s toes. It’s like when the school bully is in a good mood, you just really don’t want to ruin that because today might finally be the day you get to eat lunch. All it takes is one little “Hey, so is Byron Scott terrible?” question towards ol’ Kobe and BOOM, every Lakers beat writer is doing 20 pushups in the middle of the night wearing nothing but Disney princess dresses. I’ve seen it happen.

At this point, you get the feeling that the moment Kobe officially files his retirement papers, the Lakers will send D’Angelo Russell into Scott’s office with an iPod, just to send Byron into a complete mental breakdown as he rants about how walkmen are far more practical.

Faker of the Week

KurtRambis

I don’t know if Kurt Rambis ever wanted to be known as a family man.

I don’t even know if Kurt Rambis has a family.

Now, I know that Kurt Rambis has some definite sexual frustration.

While I can’t say exactly what is up with Rambis due to, like, this website being kid friendly, you can find exactly what the Knicks interim head coach is into HERE. Do with that information what you may.

In reality, this is kind of tough for Rambis. He seems like a decent enough guy and probably just didn’t realize people could access your likes on Twitter (they’re still favorites to me, damn it), or he was simply hacked. Either way, it has become brutally apparent that the Knicks head coaching position is the ultimate thirst-trap.

Keep on keeping on, Kurt. Let your freak-flag fly.

Who Got Lit, Who Got Left

Stan Van Gundy

The Litness

Ol’ SVG is at it again.

Stan Van Gundy lit up an otherwise boring trade deadline by making arguably the two biggest deals of the day, adding Tobias Harris, Donatas Motiejunas (trying spelling that in under 15 seconds), and Marcus Thornton.

It’s been a long time since the Pistons were relevant. It turns out, they were saved by a white knight on a horse. Only this white knight had a mustaches, hoodie, and rode a bike. Baller.

The Leftness

Talk about inexcusable.

John Cena is a national treasure and should be treated as such. That man should never be left anywhere, nonetheless left on national television. Disgusting.

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